Need to Know Basis

(This came out in the SiyaWoman website, sometime ago). TEDSI BEAR 2001. I was in class 7 when I went to my maternal grandmum’s place for winter holidays (which also happened to have 19 cats at that point in time). Didu (my grandmum) brought out this hand puppet (the closest known thing it resembles) which looked part Koala bear, part mouse, part grey towel. Found behind the bed on the floor covered with cat fur. No one till date knows where she appeared from, who got her, from where. My immediate reaction was to give it a name – Tedsi Bear. To this day I don’t know where the name came in my head from. 2017. I am soon turning 30. My usual habit is to go home after work and pull out Bear from somewhere. She likes yelling ‘BANG’ every time that the Big Bang Theory opening credits play. By now she has a family background (she is a half Koala/half Panda bear kidnapped from California), a birthday that she keeps reminding us about and her list of favourite songs (“I Like to M...

The morning mellowed And darkness died The sunrise slept While children cried.   The lonely love In the winter white Tasted truth And fled the fight.   The quiet quote Was heard howling Over and over Yelling and yearning.   The veering and venturing Bewildered belief Pursued the one place That rewards relief.   No one noticed The upheavals under The jerking jousts The arresting anger.   When the zeal is zapped And interests injured The killing by kites Is eagerly endured.   And the godly ghosts Still haunt the xanthic xystus.

  As I turned off the light, I heard a cuckoo call, late at night. Though she was nowhere in my sight, It filled my heart with warm delight.   I wondered what she could want, If she sang seeing the moon so bright, I wondered why it moved me so, Her free, sweet call, so late at night.   I wondered if she was calling out To her friends and foes, before taking flight. Maybe she wanted me to know That she's leaving during the night.   The burdens seemed to melt away As I heard her voice, left and right. She could have been singing to the world, Her happiness echoed in the silent night.   I went to bed, feeling at peace. The call had lessened every plight, It made me smile, released my soul, A cuckoo's call, really late at night.

She dreamt of many dreams  And lived a fairy tale life, Where she could be a happy girl, A happy daughter, a wife. She found the knight she dreamt of  Who promised her of many things, He said he will give her love n life  And help her dreams grow wings. She saw her shining knight in him And held his hand to move ahead  She left her peaceful childhood back  Which lay alone, now half – dead. She walked on, hand in hand  Till she found herself alone The knight she had believed in  Was once there, is now gone. You can still see her if you look out ,  Walking ahead, on and on  Looking for her childhood dreams, Was once there, is now gone.

An aching soul roams the street, Dumb, numb, unaware Of the reason of the pain And how to get rid of it. A hand that is kind To it, is merely a shadow, And a worried heart Doesn't seem to reach its mind. Its naive, trusting, hopeful eyes Does not know where to look, It neither notices the darkness Nor the freshness of the sunrise. The aching soul still roams the street Looking for solace somewhere, Looking for the God it had heard of Day after day, street after street.

The barriers broke And silence spoke And the world went around. Dreams went up in smoke In a single stroke And the world came around. The hopes came crumbling The homes came tumbling And the world came around and went around. The sun rose above Over the grey – winged dove And the world went around and came around.